Me and St. Thomas the Apostle, or, His mercy endures forever! Which is good, because some of us can occasionally miss a meeting.

Daily Readings: 04/07/2013 (Divine Mercy Sunday)
"Now a week later his disciples were again inside and Thomas was with them.
Jesus came, although the doors were locked,
and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.”
Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands,
and bring your hand and put it into my side,
and do not be unbelieving, but believe.”
Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Jn. 20:26-28


For a period of time, when I was young and thought I knew everything, I was an atheist. Now I could go on about how it was a dark period in my life. Not that there was a terrible amount of strife going on, but meaning I felt the lack of God's presence in my life, not that I would have admitted it at the time. But that's for some other day. What I most regret, and have apologized for over and over, is that at the time, I would argue with my mother about it. Now, arguing with one's mother when you are a know-it-all young snot is pretty standard, but while I was arguing with my mother about God not existing, she was dealing with the loss of her mother. She tells me now that I need not apologize mostly because I was just a smart-mouth kid who thought he had it all figured out and it was not the first time she had been through that. But I still wish that I'd had more compassion at the time and I'm very glad that she forgives me being young and thoughtless.
Anyway, today's readings reminded me that during these 'conversations', she would often say that she had picked the right name for me because I was a doubter. As I listened to the Gospel reading at Mass today, I realized she didn't know at the time, how right she was. Like the apostle, this Thomas too had knowledge of what Jesus had said, done and taught. But even though Jesus was there for the other believers to see, Thomas was off doing something else. And when people told me that Jesus was alive and he was real, I said, "Prove it!" 

I also, eventually, many years later actually, came to recognize Jesus as "My Lord and my God!"

Where my path veers off from its similarity to the apostle Thomas, is that he came to believe through seeing Jesus and feeling Jesus' wounds. I came back through a couple of different steps. First, when I stepped into my current parish (St. Kathryn's) after many years away from Mass, I just felt so much like it was 'home'. That was nice and all, but quite frankly, and not to diminish it, I feel pretty good when I walk into a Dairy Queen too. It's not the same feeling, but it's a pretty good feeling that could quickly have faded away. But then there was the second part. You see, as I grew in knowledge of the faith and the word, I came back heart and soul, not through feeling the wounds on Jesus' body, but by feeling His healing of the wounds inside of mine. And as I continue to grow, I find it easier to lean on His love and mercy and trust in His plan for me.


Now I realize, every day has its wounds and bumps and bruises, but if you can focus on Jesus' healing (which is admittedly, not always easy) you can feel Him working inside your heart. Like Peter, when he tried to walk on the water and began to sink; if we can take our eyes off the maelstrom, put our focus back on Jesus and reach out to Him, He will pull us out of the water and it will feel like a miracle. His mercy is waiting for us, we need only seek the healing.


Happy Divine Mercy Sunday!


God bless,


P.D.O.