I've been thinking a lot about sacrifice lately (we are coming up on Easter, after all) and how we are supposed to model our lives in Christ. All throughout the bible, Christ refers often to 'the bridegroom' when He is talking about Himself in parables. Clearly, this is a model for us as husbands and fathers.
As I wrote below, Paul's letter to the Ephesians spells this out for us again, telling us that husbands are to love their wives as Jesus loved the Church. Jesus loved His disciples, the Church at the time, totally, faithfully, freely and fruitfully. Giving of Himself even to His death on the cross, so that love could bear the fruit of our salvation. He was a servant to them, washing their feet on the night of the Last Supper as an example of the humility that they were to display when serving others.
I recently heard a comedian say (and I paraphrase) that marriage isn't about compatibility, it's about commitment. After all, the first time you can't pay the mortgage, what does it matter if you both like red?
It's about waking up every day and intentionally renewing the vow you made to love one another. Because, like us, not every day is going to be perfect.
We need to remember, Jesus did not say to God, "Okay Father, these poor schleps get their sins forgiven, but what's in this for me?" And if you are looking at your marriage and you're wondering, 'Well great, but what's in this for me?', you're asking the wrong question. The question for both spouses to ask is,' How can I give my total self to you today?'
Again, the bar is set high, and we'll never be perfect, but by aiming for perfection and letting God's grace do the rest, I believe, we can find His peace.
I had a single guy refer to me on Facebook once as a 'man with a leash around his neck'. I responded by saying, "Actually, it's more of a yoke.....'For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.' Mt. 11:30"
Enjoy the story about my wife's dirty feet!
When my lovely wife, Kimberly, was seven and a half months pregnant, we could not have been happier or more excited! Every day was a blessing of anticipation for our amazing event.
Kimberly, however, is five feet two inches tall, which did not leave a lot of room for ‘Li’l Baby P’ to stretch out. Particularly considering that Alicia, as she's known nowadays, was 9lbs. 4 oz. When she was born that July. As a result, Kimberly had trouble reaching her feet to wash them. I am a good guy, so, of course, I did what I could to help and that included washing her feet.
Kimberly, however, is five feet two inches tall, which did not leave a lot of room for ‘Li’l Baby P’ to stretch out. Particularly considering that Alicia, as she's known nowadays, was 9lbs. 4 oz. When she was born that July. As a result, Kimberly had trouble reaching her feet to wash them. I am a good guy, so, of course, I did what I could to help and that included washing her feet.
Two nights after the first time I had done this for her, I noticed that her feet were dirty again. Knowing that she had been wearing sandals, and since I am less than perfect, I blurted out condescendingly, “You would think if you can’t reach your feet to wash them, you would wear shoes and socks so that they wouldn’t get so dirty.”, and then rolled over, quite impressed with myself!
“I can’t reach my feet to put on shoes and socks.”, I heard her reply quietly from her side of the bed.
Realizing how true this was, and feeling like a complete jerk, I said, “I’m sorry.", and then, for some reason, added, "Jesus would not have said that.”, and I rolled back over a little meeker for the lesson.
The next morning I awoke thinking of Jesus washing the feet of the Apostles at the Last Supper. It is an image so clear because the Pastor of our Church chooses 12 parishioners each Holy Thursday, and washes their feet. I then thought of St. Paul’s letter to the Ephesians when he said that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church.
Suddenly it hit me that the Lord had given me a stark illustration of my vocation as a husband to my wife. It is not so often that you receive such a clear ‘Eureka’ moment from The Lord. I was so excited, that I spent my lunch break buying a basin, a loofah sponge, and special soap and lotion for soft, smooth, feet so that I could truly pamper my wife’s tired tootsies!
Later that day, I saw a younger guy I worked with, who was getting married in a few months. I had seen him reading the bible regularly on his lunch break, so I related my story. I told him that as his wedding approaches, he will get a lot of advice as to how his household should run and how he should relate to his wife. I assured him that no matter what else he hears about 'men from Mars' and 'women from Venus', he is already reading the right ‘manual’.
Happy Holy Thursday!
God bless,
P.D.O.
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